March 6: Humor

March 6

When you’ve got them by their wallets, their hearts and minds will follow.
~Fern Naito

If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one.
~George Gobel. George Leslie Gobel (1919–1991) was an American comedian and actor. He was best known as the star of his own weekly NBC television show, The George Gobel Show, which ran from 1954 to 1960 (the last season on CBS, alternating with The Jack Benny Program).

I once met an economist who believed that everything was fungible for money, so I suggested he enclose himself in a large bell-jar with as much money as he wanted and see how long he lasted.
~Amory Lovins. Amory Bloch Lovins (born 1947) is an American physicist, environmental scientist, writer, and Chairman/Chief Scientist of the Rocky Mountain Institute. He has worked in the field of energy policy and related areas for four decades. Harvard University-educated, he was named in 2009 by Time magazine one of the World’s 100 most influential people.


March 6: Humor

March 6

When you’ve got them by their wallets, their hearts and minds will follow.

~Fern Naito



If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one.

~George Gobel. George Leslie Gobel (1919–1991) was an American comedian and actor. He was best known as the star of his own weekly NBC television show, The George Gobel Show, which ran from 1954 to 1960 (the last season on CBS, alternating with The Jack Benny Program).



I once met an economist who believed that everything was fungible for money, so I suggested he enclose himself in a large bell-jar with as much money as he wanted and see how long he lasted.

~Amory Lovins. Amory Bloch Lovins (born 1947) is an American physicist, environmental scientist, writer, and Chairman/Chief Scientist of the Rocky Mountain Institute. He has worked in the field of energy policy and related areas for four decades. Harvard University-educated, he was named in 2009 by Time magazine one of the World’s 100 most influential people.


Money Matters.05b

March 6: Humor

future 2mb

March 6



As long as algebra is taught in school, there will be prayer in school.

~Cokie Roberts


Perfect numbers, like perfect men, are very rare.

~René Descartes




Since the mathematicians have invaded the theory of relativity, I do not understand it myself anymore.

~Albert Einstein








What is man, that you are mindful of him?

What is man, that you are mindful of him?

I muse and wonder if you care
I’m smaller than a grain of sand
You’ve counted every pore and hair
Somehow I fit in your giant plan

You say that I’m your masterpiece
I’m skin and bones and blood and brains
You made the seasons, which never cease
What use am I? What do you gain?

And I’m your poem–that’s a laugh
My rhythm’s bad, my voice is sad
You’re better off with a giraffe
Than me, your child,–not so, my dad?

Holding the world within your hands,
Why pay attention to a man?

~Day Williams

March 6: Humor

March 6



In Mackensworth v. American Trading Transportation Co., 367 F. Supp. 373 (E.D. Pa. 1973 ), District Judge Becker wrote his opinion in verse as follows:


The motion now before us

has stirred up a terrible fuss.

And what is considerably worse,

it has spawned some preposterous doggerel verse.

The plaintiff, a man of the sea,

after paying his lawyer a fee,

filed a complaint of several pages

to recover statutory wages.

The pleaded facts remind us of a tale that is endless.

A seaman whom for centuries the law has called “friendless”

is discharged from the ship before voyage’s end

and sues for lost wages, his finances to mend.

The defendant shipping company’s office is based in New York City,

and to get right down to the nitty gritty,

it has been brought to this Court by long arm service,

which has made it extremely nervous.

Long arm service is a procedural tool

founded upon a “doing business” rule.

But defendant has no office here, and says it has no mania

to do any business in Pennsylvania.

Plaintiff found defendant had a ship here in June ‘72,

but defendant says that ship’s business is through.

Asserting that process is amiss,

it has filed a motion to dismiss.

Plaintiff’s counsel, whose name is Harry Lore,

read defendant’s brief and found it a bore.

Instead of a reply brief, he acted pretty quick

and responded with a clever limerick:


“Admiralty process is hoary

With pleadings that tell a sad story

Of Libels in Rem—

[367 F.Supp. 375]

The bane of sea-faring men

The moral: Better personally served than be sorry.”


Not to be outdone, the defense took the time

to reply with their own clever rhyme.

The defense counsel team of Mahoney, Roberts, & Smith

drafted a poem cutting right to the pith:


“Admiralty lawyers like Harry

Both current and those known from lore

Be they straight types, mixed or fairy

Must learn how to sidestep our bore.

For Smith, not known for his mirth

With his knife out for Mackensworth

With Writs, papers or Motions to Quash

Knows that dear Harry’s position don’t wash.”


Overwhelmed by this outburst of pure creativity,

we determined to show an equal proclivity.

Hence this opinion in the form of verse,

even if not of the calibre of Saint-John Perse.

The first question is whether, under the facts,

defendant has done business here to come under  Pennsylvania‘s long arm acts.

If we find that it has, we must reach question two,

whether that act so applied is constitutional under

Washington v. International Shoe.

Defendant runs a ship known as the SS Washington Trader,

whose travels plaintiff tracked as GM is said to have followed Nader.

He found that in June ‘72 that ship rested its

keel and took on a load of cargo here which was

quite a big business deal.

In order for extraterritorial jurisdiction to


it is enough that defendant do a single act in Pa. for pecuniary gain.

And we hold that the recent visit of defendant’s ship to Philadelphia’s port

is doing business enough to bring it before this Court.

We note, however, that the amended act’s grammar

is enough to make any thoughtful lawyer stammer.

The particular problem which deserves mention

is whether a single act done for pecuniary gain also requires a future intention.

As our holding suggests, we believe the answer is no,

and feel that is how the Pa. appellate cases will go.

Further, concerning § (a)(3)’s “shipping of merchandise”

[367 F.Supp. 376]

the future intention doctrine has already had its demise.

We do not yet rest our inquiry, for as is a

judge’s bent,

we must look to see if there is precedent.

And we found one written in ‘68 by three big wheels

on the Third Circuit Court of Appeals.

The case, a longshoreman’s personal injury suit,

is Kane v. USSR,

and it controls the case at bar.

It’s a case with which defendants had not reckoned,

and may be found at page 131 of 394 F.2d.

In Kane, a ship came but once to pick up stores

and hired as agents to do its chores

a firm of local stevedores.

Since the Court upheld service on the agents, the case is nearly on all fours,

and to defendant’s statutory argument Kane closes the doors.

Despite defendant’s claim that plaintiff’s

process is silly,

there have been three other seamen’s actions against defendant, with service in Philly.

And although they might have tried to get the service corrected,

the fact of the matter is they’ve never objected.

We turn then to the constitutional point,

and lest the issue come out of joint,

it is important that one thought be first appended:

the reason the long arm statute was amended.

The amendment’s purpose was to eliminate guess

and to extend long arm service to the full reach of due process.

And so we now must look to the facts

to see if due process is met by sufficient “minimum contacts.”

The visit of defendant’s ship is not yet very old,

and so we feel constrained to hold

that under traditional notions of substantial justice and fair play,

defendant’s constitutional argument does not

carry the day.

This Opinion has now reached its final border,

and the time has come to enter an Order,

which, in a sense, is its ultimate crux,

but alas, plaintiff claims under a thousand


So, while trial counsel are doubtless in fine fettle,

with many fine fish in their trial kettle,

we urge them not to test their mettle,

[367 F.Supp. 377]

because, for the small sum involved,

it makes more sense to settle.

In view of the foregoing Opinion, at this time

we enter the following Order, also in rhyme.

ORDER Finding that service of process is bona fide,

the motion to dismiss is hereby denied.

So that this case can now get about its ways,

defendant shall file an answer within 21 days.

(Footnotes and headnotes are also in verse.)



Necessity knows no law; I know some attorneys of the same.

~Benjamin Franklin



There are laws to protect the freedom of the press’s speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press.

~Mark Twain (1835–1910), American humorist, writer and lecturer

Scriptures about Self-Discipline

1 Timothy 4:7
But have nothing to do with worldly fables fit only for old women. On the other hand, discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness;

Romans 13:14
But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27
Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable.

Ephesians 4:23-24
and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.

Philippians 3:12-14
Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Colossians 3:12
So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience;

2 Timothy 1:7
For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline.

Hebrews 5:14
But solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil.

Hebrews 12:1
Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

2 Timothy 3:16-17
All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.

Deuteronomy 29:29
“The secret things belong to the LORD our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our sons forever, that we may observe all the words of this law.

Titus 2:12
instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age,

2 Corinthians 10:5
We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ,

Romans 12:3
For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith.

Romans 12:2
And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

Ephesians 4:23
and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind,

1 Peter 4:7
The end of all things is near; therefore, be of sound judgment and sober spirit for the purpose of prayer.

Psalm 141:3
Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips.

Romans 14:20-21
Do not tear down the work of God for the sake of food All things indeed are clean, but they are evil for the man who eats and gives offense. It is good not to eat meat or to drink wine, or to do anything by which your brother stumbles.

1 Corinthians 9:27
but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.

Romans 6:12-13
Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its lusts, and do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.

Romans 8:13
for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live.

Ephesians 4:22
that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit,

Colossians 3:5
Therefore consider the members of your earthly body as dead to immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and greed, which amounts to idolatry.

James 3:2
For we all stumble in many ways If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well.

1 Corinthians 11:31-32
But if we judged ourselves rightly, we would not be judged. But when we are judged, we are disciplined by the Lord so that we will not be condemned along with the world.

1 Timothy 4:8
for bodily discipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come.

1 Corinthians 9:25
Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable.

Titus 1:8
but hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, just, devout, self-controlled,

2 Samuel 11:11-13
Uriah said to David, “The ark and Israel and Judah are staying in temporary shelters, and my lord Joab and the servants of my lord are camping in the open field. Shall I then go to my house to eat and to drink and to lie with my wife? By your life and the life of your soul, I will not do this thing.” Then David said to Uriah, “Stay here today also, and tomorrow I will let you go.” So Uriah remained in Jerusalem that day and the next. Now David called him, and he ate and drank before him, and he made him drunk; and in the evening he went out to lie on his bed with his lord’s servants, but he did not go down to his house.

Daniel 1:8
But Daniel made up his mind that he would not defile himself with the king’s choice food or with the wine which he drank; so he sought permission from the commander of the officials that he might not defile himself.

1 Corinthians 8:13
Therefore, if food causes my brother to stumble, I will never eat meat again, so that I will not cause my brother to stumble.

Matthew 5:29
“If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.

Mark 9:47
“If your eye causes you to stumble, throw it out; it is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye, than, having two eyes, to be cast into hell,

Galatians 5:24
Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

1 Corinthians 9:24
Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win.

Philippians 3:14
I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Colossians 2:18
Let no one keep defrauding you of your prize by delighting in self-abasement and the worship of the angels, taking his stand on visions he has seen, inflated without cause by his fleshly mind,

1 Thessalonians 2:19:

For who is our hope or joy or crown of exultation? Is it not even you, in the presence of our Lord Jesus at His coming?

For who is our hope or joy or crown of exultation? Is it not even you, in the presence of our Lord Jesus at His coming?

2 Timothy 4:8
in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing.

James 1:12
Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.

1 Peter 5:4
And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory.

Revelation 2:10
‘Do not fear what you are about to suffer. Behold, the devil is about to cast some of you into prison, so that you will be tested, and you will have tribulation for ten days. Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life.

Revelation 3:11
‘I am coming quickly; hold fast what you have, so that no one will take your crown.”

Amazing Patsies

Patsies are amazing men:
Oswald walked in Mexico and Dallas at the same time
Sirhan fired a bullet that hung a U-ie and landed behind Bobby’s right ear
Lanza, skinny, autistic, dressed like Rambo, slipped into a locked school and shot 26 people,
shooting more accurately than a Special Ops leader
Paddock checked in to Mandalay Bay while invisible

Still no footage of Stephen Paddock checking into the Mandalay Bay.. Strange… Someone had to say it…