March 6: Humor

Day Williams created this graphic depiction of this date.
March 6
Humor
 181.

When you’ve got them by their wallets, their hearts and minds will follow.

~Fern Naito

 

182.

If inflation continues to soar, you’re going to have to work like a dog just to live like one.

~George Gobel. George Leslie Gobel (1919–1991) was an American comedian and actor. He was best known as the star of his own weekly NBC television show, The George Gobel Show, which ran from 1954 to 1960 (the last season on CBS, alternating with The Jack Benny Program).

 

183.

I once met an economist who believed that everything was fungible for money, so I suggested he enclose himself in a large bell-jar with as much money as he wanted and see how long he lasted.

~Amory Lovins. Amory Bloch Lovins (born 1947) is an American physicist, environmental scientist, writer, and Chairman/Chief Scientist of the Rocky Mountain Institute. He has worked in the field of energy policy and related areas for four decades. Harvard University-educated, he was named in 2009 by Time magazine one of the World’s 100 most influential people.

 

Money Matters.05b

March 6: Humor

future 2mb

March 6
 Humor

 

181.

As long as algebra is taught in school, there will be prayer in school.

~Cokie Roberts

182.

Perfect numbers, like perfect men, are very rare.

~René Descartes

 

 

183.

Since the mathematicians have invaded the theory of relativity, I do not understand it myself anymore.

~Albert Einstein

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

March 6: Humor

March 6
Humor  

 

181.

In Mackensworth v. American Trading Transportation Co., 367 F. Supp. 373 (E.D. Pa. 1973 ), District Judge Becker wrote his opinion in verse as follows:

 

The motion now before us

has stirred up a terrible fuss.

And what is considerably worse,

it has spawned some preposterous doggerel verse.

The plaintiff, a man of the sea,

after paying his lawyer a fee,

filed a complaint of several pages

to recover statutory wages.

The pleaded facts remind us of a tale that is endless.

A seaman whom for centuries the law has called “friendless”

is discharged from the ship before voyage’s end

and sues for lost wages, his finances to mend.

The defendant shipping company’s office is based in New York City,

and to get right down to the nitty gritty,

it has been brought to this Court by long arm service,

which has made it extremely nervous.

Long arm service is a procedural tool

founded upon a “doing business” rule.

But defendant has no office here, and says it has no mania

to do any business in Pennsylvania.

Plaintiff found defendant had a ship here in June ‘72,

but defendant says that ship’s business is through.

Asserting that process is amiss,

it has filed a motion to dismiss.

Plaintiff’s counsel, whose name is Harry Lore,

read defendant’s brief and found it a bore.

Instead of a reply brief, he acted pretty quick

and responded with a clever limerick:

 

“Admiralty process is hoary

With pleadings that tell a sad story

Of Libels in Rem—

[367 F.Supp. 375]

The bane of sea-faring men

The moral: Better personally served than be sorry.”

 

Not to be outdone, the defense took the time

to reply with their own clever rhyme.

The defense counsel team of Mahoney, Roberts, & Smith

drafted a poem cutting right to the pith:

 

“Admiralty lawyers like Harry

Both current and those known from lore

Be they straight types, mixed or fairy

Must learn how to sidestep our bore.

For Smith, not known for his mirth

With his knife out for Mackensworth

With Writs, papers or Motions to Quash

Knows that dear Harry’s position don’t wash.”

 

Overwhelmed by this outburst of pure creativity,

we determined to show an equal proclivity.

Hence this opinion in the form of verse,

even if not of the calibre of Saint-John Perse.

The first question is whether, under the facts,

defendant has done business here to come under  Pennsylvania’s long arm acts.

If we find that it has, we must reach question two,

whether that act so applied is constitutional under

Washington v. International Shoe.

Defendant runs a ship known as the SS Washington Trader,

whose travels plaintiff tracked as GM is said to have followed Nader.

He found that in June ‘72 that ship rested its

keel and took on a load of cargo here which was

quite a big business deal.

In order for extraterritorial jurisdiction to obtain,

it is enough that defendant do a single act in Pa. for pecuniary gain.

And we hold that the recent visit of defendant’s ship to Philadelphia’s port

is doing business enough to bring it before this Court.

We note, however, that the amended act’s grammar

is enough to make any thoughtful lawyer stammer.

The particular problem which deserves mention

is whether a single act done for pecuniary gain also requires a future intention.

As our holding suggests, we believe the answer is no,

and feel that is how the Pa. appellate cases will go.

Further, concerning § (a)(3)’s “shipping of merchandise”

[367 F.Supp. 376]

the future intention doctrine has already had its demise.

We do not yet rest our inquiry, for as is a judge’s bent,

we must look to see if there is precedent.

And we found one written in ‘68 by three big wheels

on the Third Circuit Court of Appeals.

The case, a longshoreman’s personal injury suit,

is Kane v. USSR,

and it controls the case at bar.

It’s a case with which defendants had not reckoned,

and may be found at page 131 of 394 F.2d.

In Kane, a ship came but once to pick up stores

and hired as agents to do its chores

a firm of local stevedores.

Since the Court upheld service on the agents, the case is nearly on all fours,

and to defendant’s statutory argument Kane closes the doors.

Despite defendant’s claim that plaintiff’s process is silly,

there have been three other seamen’s actions against defendant, with service in Philly.

And although they might have tried to get the service corrected,

the fact of the matter is they’ve never objected.

We turn then to the constitutional point,

and lest the issue come out of joint,

it is important that one thought be first appended:

the reason the long arm statute was amended.

The amendment’s purpose was to eliminate guess

and to extend long arm service to the full reach of due process.

And so we now must look to the facts

to see if due process is met by sufficient “minimum contacts.”

The visit of defendant’s ship is not yet very old,

and so we feel constrained to hold

that under traditional notions of substantial justice and fair play,

defendant’s constitutional argument does not carry the day.

This Opinion has now reached its final border,

and the time has come to enter an Order,

which, in a sense, is its ultimate crux,

but alas, plaintiff claims under a thousand bucks.

So, while trial counsel are doubtless in fine fettle,

with many fine fish in their trial kettle,

we urge them not to test their mettle,

[367 F.Supp. 377]

because, for the small sum involved,

it makes more sense to settle.

In view of the foregoing Opinion, at this time

we enter the following Order, also in rhyme.

ORDER Finding that service of process is bona fide,

the motion to dismiss is hereby denied.

So that this case can now get about its ways,

defendant shall file an answer within 21 days.

(Footnotes and headnotes are also in verse.)

 

182.

Necessity knows no law; I know some attorneys of the same.

~Benjamin Franklin

 

183.

There are laws to protect the freedom of the press’s speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press.

~Mark Twain (1835–1910), American humorist, writer and lecturer

GENESIS CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE


1 Abraham took another wife, and her

               Name was Keturah, 2 and she bore him Zimran,

Midian, Jokshan, Medan, Ishbak and

Shuah. 3 Now Jokshan fathered Sheba and

Dedan, whose heirs were Asshurites, Letushites

And Leummites. 4 The sons of Midian

Were Ephah, Epher, Hanoch, and Abida

And Eldaah. All these were Keurah’s heirs.

5 Abraham left all that he owned to Isaac,

6 But while he was still living, he gave gifts

To sons of his own concubines and sent

Them off from his son Isaac to the land

Out east, 7 and altogether,

Abraham lived a hundred seventy-

Five years. 8 Then Abraham did breathe his last

And died at a good old age, an old man

And full of years; and he was gathered to

His people. 9 Isaac and Ishmael, his sons,

Buried him in the cave of Machpelah

Near Mamre, in the field of Ephron son

Of Hittite Zohar, 10 in the same field that

Abraham bought from Hittites. Abraham

Was buried there with his wife Sarah. 11 After

Abraham’s death, God blessed his first son Isaac,

Who then lived near Beer Lahai Roi.

12 This then is the account of Abraham’s son

Ishmael, whom Sarah’s maidservant, Egyptian

Hagar, had borne to Abraham. 13 These are

The names of Ishmael’s sons, arranged in their

Birth order: Nebaioth the firstborn of

Ishmael, Kedar, Adbeel, Mibsam, 14 Mishma,

Dumah, Massa, 15 Hadad, Tema, Jetur,

Naphish and Kedemah. 16 These were the sons

Of Ishmael, and these are twelve tribal rulers’

Names by their settlements and camps. 17 In all,

Ishmael lived a hundred thirty-seven

Years, and he breathed his last and died, and he

Was gathered to his people. 18 His descendants

Settled the area from Havilah

To Shur, near Egypt’s border, as you go

Toward Asshur, and they lived in enmity

Toward all their brothers. 19 This is the account

Of Abraham’s son Isaac. Abraham

Fathered Isaac, 20 who’d reached the age of forty

When he got married to Rebekah, daughter

Of Bethuel the Aramean from

Paddan Aram and also sister of

Laban the Aramean. 21 Isaac’s wife

Was barren, so he prayed to God for her.

               God said yes to his prayer, and his wife

Rebekah did get pregnant. 22 Babies jostled

Each other in her, and she said, “Why is

This happening to me?” So she went to

Inquire of God. 23 The LORD told her, “Two nations

Are in your womb; two peoples from within

               You will be separated, and one people

Are to be stronger than the other, and

The older one will serve the younger.” 24 When

               Her time came to give birth, there were twin boys

               Within her womb. 25 The first one who emerged

Was red, and his whole body was much like

A hairy garment; so they named him Esau.

26 And then his brother came out, with his hand

Holding to Esau’s heel; so he was named

               Jacob. Now Isaac was the age of sixty

When she (his wife Rebekah) gave them birth.

27 The boys grew up, and Esau grew into

A skillful hunter, man of open land,

While Jacob was a quiet man who stayed

Among the tents, 28 and Isaac, who enjoyed

               Wild game, loved Esau, but Rebekah loved

Jacob. 29 When Jacob once was cooking stew,

Esau came in from open country, famished.

30 He said to Jacob, “Quick, let me have some

Of that red stew! I’m famished!” (That is why

The Lentil Stew (Esau selling his birthright to Jacob), Circle of Matthias Stomer, 1640

He also was called Edom. ) 31 Jacob said,

“First sell your birthright to me.” 32 “Look, I am

About to perish,” Esau answered. “What

Good is the birthright to me?” 33 Jacob said,

“Swear to me first.” So he did swear an oath

To Jacob, and he sold his birthright to

Jacob, 34 who then gave Esau bread along

               With lentil stew. He ate, drank, stood upright,

               And left, so Esau hated his own birthright.

Lord, Make America Great Again

Good morning, child of God.

God bless America.

Billy Graham – Is the handwriting on the wall, America?

https://tinyurl.com/yd3ylclg

Lord, Make America Great Again.

“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”

~2 Chronicles 7:14

The family that prays together

Stays together.

The nation that prays together

Stays together.

Billy Graham Sermon: Pray For America:

https://tinyurl.com/y2t2gzex

Whitney Houston – Star Spangled Banner:

http://tinyurl.com/ke3nlfz

[ Praise to the Lord ] Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done wonderful things, things planned long ago. ~Isaiah 25:1 NIV

Praise to the Lord

[ Praise to the Lord ] Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done wonderful things, things planned long ago.

~Isaiah 25:1 NIV

March 6: Hell

Day Williams created this graphic depiction of this date.

March 6
Hell

183.
Your agreement with death
and the world of the dead
will be broken.
Then angry, roaring waves
will sweep over you.
–Isaiah 28:18

184.
Go in through the narrow gate. The gate to destruction is wide, and the road that leads there is easy to follow. A lot of people go through that gate.
–Matthew 7:13

185.
I died, but now I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys to death and the world of the dead.
–Revelation 1:18

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