April 6: Humor

April 6
Humor

268.
I haven’t got as much money as some folks, but I’ve got as much impudence as any of them, and that’s the next thing to money.
~Josh Billings

269.
One must be poor to know the luxury of giving.
~George Eliot. Mary Anne (alternatively Mary Ann or Marian) Evans (1819–1880), better known by her pen name George Eliot, was an English novelist, journalist and translator, and one of the leading writers of the Victorian era.

270.
The only way not to think about money is to have a great deal of it.
~Edith Wharton

271.
The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.
~H.L. Mencken

 Money Matters.05b

 

 

 

April 6: Humor

Day Williams created this graphic depiction of this date.

April 6
Humor

268.
It used to be said of a man who had suffered a catastrophic setback in his line of work that he had been handed his head on a platter. We are being handed our heads with tweezers now.
~Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Timequake (1997), Ch. 9, p. 38. ISBN 0-425-16434-9

269.
You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don’t ever count on having both at once.
~Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough For Love (1973)

270.
You live and learn. Or you don’t live long.
~Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough For Love (1973)
271.
So next time someone complains that you have made a mistake, tell him that may be a good thing. Because without imperfection, neither you nor I would exist.
~Stephen Hawking, Into The Universe with Stephen Hawking (2010)

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The Sinner’s Defense


I pledge my heart to theft and rape,
To gossip, battery, and war;
I need not think, I’m just an ape,
No sin has sprouted at my core.
I’ll never die, and if I do
No God would dare condemn “nice me”–
I studied Self–and Newsweek, too–
Those paragons have set me free:
Their depth was great (and I’ll explain):
I learned God’s dead, and I’m divine.
My friends agree with Ms. McLaine
That guidance comes from stars and signs.
Tried Jesus once, it made me sick,
He wanted me to change my ways,
I need my money, friends and kicks,
No time to give this “God” my praise!
I’m God, you’re God, I judge no man . . .
I walk on water night and day;
I’m free, I’m pure (you understand?)
Stop pointing to my feet of clay.

~Day Williams

EXODUS CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE


1 The LORD told Moses: 2 “Tell the Israelites

Who want to give gifts that they must bring them

To you. 3 Here is a list of what you are

To gather: Silver, gold, and bronze: 4 blue, red,

And purple wool; fine linen; goat hair; 5 tanned

Ram skins; fine leather and acacia wood;

6 The olive oil for lamps; sweet‑smelling spices

To mix with oil to dedicate the tent

And to ordain the priests; 7 and onyx stones

For both the sacred vest and breastpiece. 8 I

Want them to build a special place, too, where

I can reside among my people. 9 Make

It and its furnishings exactly like

The pattern I will show you.” 10 God told Moses:

“Tell people they should build a chest out of

Acacia wood three feet nine inches long,

Two feet three inches wide, and two feet and

Three inches high, 11 and cover it inside

And outside with pure gold and gold edging

Around the lid. 12 Make four gold rings and clip

One to each one of the chest’s four legs. 13 Make

Two poles out of acacia wood and use

Gold as a cover. 14 Put them through the rings,

So you can use the poles to bear the chest.

15 Don’t ever take the poles out of the rings.

16 When I give you the Ten Commandments written

On two flat stones, put them inside the chest.

17 Cover the chest lid with pure gold, 18 then hammer

Out two winged creatures of pure gold and fasten

Them to the lid at the ends of the chest.

19 The creatures have to face each other 20 with

Their wings spread out above the chest. Inside

It, set down the two flat stones with the Ten

Commandments 21 and then put the gold lid on

Top of the chest. 22 I will meet you between

The creatures (two of them) and tell you what

My people have to do and what they must

Not do.” 23 The LORD continued: “Make a table

Out of acacia wood that’s thirty‑six

Inches long, eighteen inches wide, and twenty‑

Seven inches high. 24 You must cover it

With pure gold 25 and put a gold edging ’round

It with a border that’s three inches wide.

26 Make four gold rings; attach one to each leg

Beside the edging. Poles for carrying

The table shall be placed through these rings and

Are to be made out of acacia wood

Covered with gold. The table shall be kept

Within the holy place, 30 and sacred loaves

Of bread must always be put on it. Bowls,

Plates, jars, and cups for the wine offerings

Shall be made up of pure gold and set on

This table.” 31 God said: “Make a lampstand from

Pure gold. The entire lampstand, along with

Its ornamental flowers, must be made

Out of a single piece of hammered gold

32 Which has three branches on each of its two

Sides, 33 with three ornamental almond blossoms

Upon each branch 34 and four upon the stem.

35 And where each pair of branches comes out of

The stem, there has to be a blossom, too.

36 The lampstand, which includes its branches and

The ornamental flowers, must be made

Out of a single piece of hammered gold

That’s pure. 37 The lamp on top and those which are

At the far end of each of its six branches

Must be constructed so that it will shine

Out toward the lampstand’s front. 38 The tongs and trays

For taking care of lamps shall be pure gold.

39 The lampstand and its hardware will require

Seventy‑five pounds of pure gold; 40 they must

Be made according to the form I showed

You on the mountain,” and then God told Moses: