When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.
Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did.
~Henny Youngman (originally German surname Junggman) (1906 – 1998), British-born American comedian and violinist famous for “one-liners,” short, simple jokes usually delivered rapid-fire. His best known one-liner was “Take my wife—please.”
If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves.
~Lane Kirkland (1922 – 1999), United States labor union leader who served as President of the AFL-CIO for more than 16 years